Friday, July 17, 2009

Proposal to Rename Ypsilanti's Huron St.

Critics of bloggers often say bloggers whine but never offer solutions. Fine. Here's one solution that will help shovel some much-needed dough into city coffers. It costs almost nothing and it could be made into a festive community-pride event, with balloons and streamers and dignitaries. Simply rename Huron St. "Old Spice Swagger Street."

The antiperspirant company Old Spice (#1 antiperspirant preferred by historians) is holding publicity contests for cold hard cash. A kind of viral advertising. One contest, for thousands of prize money dollars, goes to the man or woman who successfully gets his community to rename any "public street, avenue, or boulevard" in his or her town to "Old Spice Swagger St." For maximum effect, Dusty Diary nominates the highly visible Huron St.
True, City Hall will have to get some new stationery, but think of the zesty new image they'll project when residents receive burdensome tax assessments and notices of major code violations emanating from "One Old Spice Swagger Street." The Museum will have to change things too, to "220 North Old Spice Swagger Street." That actually has a sort of mysterious historical ring to it, doesn't it? Like pirates. Huron River pirates. Could be the start of a profitable urban legend. Even a local Huron River Pirate Festival!

And even if the Mayor is a Dry Idea man, Dusty D knows that he is wise and generous enough to transcend personal deodorant preferences for Ypsi's financial salvation. So let's start putting up those street signs, like this one spotted at Cross and Huron, and--don't sweat it!
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4 comments:

  1. ThomasJuly 17, 2009 at 8:05 AM

    I have decided that if I become dictator of this area, there will be exactly one thing called "Huron" around here, and that will be the river. Everything else will have to have a different name. I mean, who can keep all the Huron Roads and Huron Streets and Huron River Road and Huron Drive and so in apart in their head? Let's come up with something more original.

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  2. Dusty DJuly 17, 2009 at 9:01 AM

    Thomas: That is an eminently sensible idea. South Huron St., N. Huron St., which changes into Huron River Drive (which to add to the confusion then mysteriously changes into Clark Rd. and then back into Huron River Dr.)--don't forget Huron Parkway closer to Ann Arbor and E. & W. Huron Sts. in Ann Arbor (and Huron St. in Dexter). It's completely out of control. I think Ypsi can lead by example in making her streets not only more navigable but more profitable with this naming-rights plan.

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  3. BFJuly 17, 2009 at 9:37 AM

    And let's not forget the 1.5 miles of Harriet-Spring-Factory-Maus.

    Not sure I would like having a street named after Old Spice. Doesn't conjure up any non-smelly memories.

    What if, instead, we got a Greek foods company to get us to rename streets? Gyros, Keftedes, Baklava, or Feta, for example. A much more appetizing prospect than Old Spice Swagger!

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  4. Dusty DJuly 17, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    BF: Yes, one street with four names (I was just biking on it the other day, going to Waterworks Park) seems a tad extravagant. Connecting to it is another multiply-named street, Catherine/Race St., which was also called Pierce Street for some of its history.

    I think your Greek foods idea, honoring Ypsilanti's name origin, is a wonderful idea. We do already have an Olive St., so that's a start!

    (hungry now, dangit!)

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