Only One!

Dusty D's husband was staring fixedly into his laptop screen, trying to solve a complicated and subtle software problem. Looking up from some old newspapers, DD decided this was the perfect time to share some vacuous trivia.

DD: "The stories in this 1889 Ann Arbor Argus are so chatty! They just took these tidbits of gossip and made news items from them! Look at this one:

A Milan lady, who's been married twenty years, boldly confesses that she's used but one paper of pins during all that time. If Barnum, whose penchant for great natural curiosities is well known, should see this item, her fortune would be made, for money would be no objection to the great show man, in a case like this."

DH: "Barnum? BARNUM?! So he'd be like....rooooll up, rooooll up to see the a-MAZ-ing One Paper of Pins Lady!

DD: (giggles)

DH: (warming to his subject) "Look for yourself! ONLY EIGHTEEN PINS LOST OUT OF A HUNDRED! Examine the paper, ladies and gentlemen! Count the holes! Magnifying glass, three cents extra."