Sweetening Michigan's Economy

Have you heard that ongoing series on Michigan Radio called "Three Things"? Reporters ask random people about the three things they could do to improve the sour Michigan economy.

There's one way to sweeten it--but not with traitorous cane sugar. Do you see sugarcane fields waving in the wind in Augusta Township? Have you sipped a nice bag of cane juice at the Farmer's Market? Do you drive past machete-wielding workers chopping down stalks?

I thought not. Do you know three things you could do to send the Michigan economy skyrocketing? You could buy three bags of "Pure Michigan" beet sugar. Fall is the peak sugar consumption season, with Thanksgiving pies, steamy cocoa, and cup after cup of coffee sending sugar consumption soaring. Do your part this fall season to keep your sugar expenditures in your home state. Know how you spell economic recovery? B-E-E-T-S-U-G-A-R.

--ad from October 12, 1939 Ypsilanti Daily Press

There Is No Better Lung Developer!

The electioneering is over. No more yard signs, pamphlets, arguments, junk mail, people with clipboards successfully fended off by a locked gate and two ferocious dogs who actually want nothing more than a tummy scratch. And some meatball drippin's from the cookie sheet. Man, they loved that. And those were some good meatballs. Very juicy; turns out it only takes 45 minutes at 350 degrees, not an hour.

My POINT is, it's time for Ypsilantians to pull together. We've got a new mayor, well, a used mayor I guess, and some incredible people doing amazing things like Amanda Edmonds at Growing Hope and Andy Ypsilanti building the Water Street Trail. There's a lot of challenges, but a lot to cheer about. A little old-style boosterism raises your neighbors' spirits. And a rising tide lifts all boats! Except sunken ones.

Here's what you can do. It's historically accurate and fun, a rare combination. Just memorize these authentic old EMU cheers. In the privacy of your own room work them over until you feel that you have them perfect. Then--Yell. The next time you're taking the #4 bus past EMU, just bust one out. Add some synchronized movements. You will attract the attention of your busmates, and that, my friend, is what we call a conversational opportunity. You can teach THEM the chant. Heck, yell it with enough energy and you'll get the whole bus doing it! Even the too-cool-for-school teen slouching in the corner over his iPod. You've got to reach them when they're young.

Here's Dusty Diary's favorite, but feel free to choose any of the 3 cheers laid out in this article (click to enlarge). And next time you hear this cheer wafting in the Ypsilanti breeze, take a look around for ol' DD. I could use some lunch.

"Hip-Zoo! Rah-Zoo! Quis, Qui! Quis, Quo!
M.S.N.C.! Tri-ump! Fe-o!
Peninsular! Michigan! Wolverine!
Alla-garoo! garah! gareen!
Normal College! The White! The Green!
Peninsular! Michigan! Wolverine!"

--October 1903 Normal News

Another Testimonial for Michigan Beet Sugar

The Farmers and Manufacturers Beet Sugar Association (Saginaw, Mich.) had a lot of good ideas for their obviously in-house ads. Why hire outside talent when you can sit around a table with a couple other guys in overalls* and dream up these inspired creations? We've seen the branding triumph, the threatening matron, and to add to our ongoing Beet Sugar Gallery here's the racial stereotype!

This ad must have cost a mint, entailing as it doubtless did an extensive nationwide survey of all of the best chefs in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, L.A...but it paid off, since in the end the beetmen were able to state conclusively that "The Best Chefs use BEET SUGAR Made in Michigan." That's settled then.

"The ancient idea that Beet Sugar is not as good as cane sugar [which does not merit capitalization] was exploded long ago," the ad claims, despite the fact that the American beet sugar industry is only a few decades old at this point.

Dusty D waved this ad in the airspace between my husband's face and the Ypsilanti Courier he was attempting to read. He contemplated the ad for a moment and then loudly brayed something I found horribly insensitive, deeply offensive, and politically incorrect:

"Is da firs' t'ing I put een my spa-GHET-ti when I come-a to A-MER-ica!"

After which we laughed like maniacs. Seriously now, readers: remember, Buy, Use, and Boost Michiagn Beet Sugar!

*No offense meant. Dusty D shambles around in ratty old jeans most of the time, so there's a kinship there.

Michigan Beet Sugar: A Testimonial

Some time ago Dusty D instructed kind readers to use, and boost, Michigan Beet Sugar.

Here is Vrouw Boerenkool to check up on you and testify. "All authorities tell me," she says in her heavy, guttural accent, "Michigan Made Beet Sugar has no superior. . . In addition, I believe in standing by Michigan farmers."

"Every 100 pound bag of foreign refined sugar bought in Michigan means that one American worker loses a day's work."

Dusty D is gonna make sure her next 100-pound bag contains only pure, delicious Michigan beet sugar. As the gruff yet caring voice of the Farmers and Manufacturers Beet Sugar Association (Saginaw), Vrouw B. is pretty convincing. --Ypsilanti Daily Press, January 11, 1940

You Use Witch Sugar?

Sometimes you see an ad whose picture and text go together so well you think, "Wow--what a great match!"

This is not one of those times.

"Let's see, what image should we, the Farmers and Manufacturers Beet Sugar Association, associate with our underdog product, Michigan Made Beet Sugar?

"Smiling children spooning sugar into their tea? A happy mom adding sugar to cookie dough? A gruff yet lovable dad putting sugar on his oatmeal?

"No, we have a better idea for branding beet sugar into the public consciousness."

This ad has the same "in-house" quality as did the dairy farmers' pro-butter ad from the Oleo Wars in the 1950s. I doubt either agricultural organization had the cashola to hire a snazzy New York ad firm. The fonts are sturdy, the images are earnest, and the conception is a tad low on the wow factor.

Nevertheless, readers, aside from these quibbles, please join me in supporting Depression-era beet farmers. Next time you're in Meijer's or Krogers, go to the customer service area. Slap your hand firmly on the counter and bellow, "Give me Michigan Made Beet Sugar and no other kind!" Then storm out. Join me in boosting Michigan Made Beet Sugar!

Boosting Michigan Made Beet Sugar is best done by thrusting your fist into the air randomly throughout your day--on the bus, in the office, at the family dinner table--and yelling, "BEET SUGAR! BEET SUGAR! BEET SUGAR!" This cooperation will not cost you an extra penny. Michigan Made Beet Sugar: available in the convenient 100-pound sack!