Sunday, October 9, 2011

Tidbits from the October 9, 1894 Ann Arbor Argus

The Ann Arbor Argus costs its readers less than one cents a copy.

The time for stump speeches has arrived. We saw a load of stumps going through the town yesterday. --Political paragraph in Manchester Enterprise.

Charles Ryan, of Ypsilanti, has entered the homeopathic college at Cleveland. What is the matter with U. of M. homeopathy--aren't the pills small enough?

Dr. K. Greiner, of Dexter, has packed up his pill case, and will attack the inhabitants of Lisbon, Kent County. He leaves many friends and few headstones.

Sneak thieves are now in possession of a winter supply of vegetables and canned fruit, "cooned" from the cellar of A. C. Fingerle, of Ypsilanti. Fingerle would like to get his fingers on them.

A steam laundry is to be opened in Chelsea. Just in time for the "dirty linen" of the campaign.

Some of the forest of the Normal campus has been cut down and "logged off," the big willow and several elms being among the victims. The campus is [not?] injured by the change, but it is doubtful if the co-eds like it.

At a "Pumpkin Pie" social to be held by the Ladies' Aid Society of the Free church of Superior, Oct. 12, an etched quilt will be the reward to the person guessing the nearest at the number of seeds in a specified pumpkin. Every "pumpkin seed" who wishes may guess and get a supper for 20 cents and be ashamed of himself that all this costs him so little.

Postmaster Kishpaugh, of Clinton, has washed the fly specks of the Harrison era off the glass of the letter boxes and made many substantial improvements in the building. The man who dares fore a charge of tobacco juice on the elegant new floor will be squirted in the eye with pepper sauce.

Lewis Feldkamp, of Manchester, was thrown from his conveyance last week, and received a fracture of the clavicle. We could just as well have said that Lew. Feldcamp was flipped out of his wagon and busted his collar bone; but "conveyance" is more recherche than "wagon," "clavicle" sounds more scientific than "collar bone," "fracture" more euphonious than "busted"; and to say "Lew" for Lewis would be treating a man pretty roughly, smashed up as he was.

A young man from Lyndon, with a stomach like an anaconda, went over to Chelsea last week and sucked a dozen eggs as rapidly as he could break the shells. This form of idiocy is less harmful than that other style of pointing an empty revolver at a friend and blowing his brains out, while the point that the fellow is a fool is just as well brought out. It is the better style.


Joe said...

How can it cost less the one cent per issue?

cosmonıcan said...

The U.S. half penny was minted until 1857, maybe there were still some in circulation?