Monday, October 12, 2009

If Your Children Could Play Naked, Then Any Bread Would Do

Neighbor, we all wish that our children could play naked in the midday outdoor sunshine, as innocent as lambs. Heck, you probably wish we could all go about our day unfettered by clothing-- though that might be a bit awkward with your boss. At any rate, if that were the case, we and our kids would be in no danger of not absorbing enough vitamin D from the sun's healthful rays.

As things stand now, our precious children are one cloudy day away from a crippling vitamin D deficiency. Think about what that would mean. Johnny falling behind the other kids at school. Johnny too weak and frail to play baseball with "the gang." Eventually, Johnny unable to remember his own name, an invalid lying in bed for you to care for for the rest of your life.

Is that a fate you want for your child?

Luckily, there's an easy solution--Bond Bread! Chock-full of vitamin D, it'll get Johnny out of bed and onto the baseball field in no time, after scoring top marks at school! Bond Bread provides happier health, proper growth, stronger bones, and sound, even teeth! It's officially approved by highest authorities!

Until the arrival of that halcyon day of universal nudity for all, pick up a handy loaf of Bond Bread.

--October 15, 1931 Ypsilanti Daily Press


Erica said...

This is priceless :)


Dusty D said...

Erica: It is one of those unsettling ads that made me wonder, "OK, if I post this...will Facebook disown me?" It's a weird one, to be sure, one of the weirdest I've seen.

Fritz said...

According to the Wikipedia article on vitamin D, the sunlight connection was firmly established in 1923. So maybe the information was reaching the general bread-buying public about nine years later.

Fritz said...

Odd tidbit: Furry animals can get vitamin from sunlight too. But they have to excrete oils into their fur, then lick them off after they are exposed to sunlight.

Dusty D said...

Fritz: That is interesting; thank you for the date.

Hmm, regarding "later," I imagine that this discovery being so recent was still in the air, hence the reference would be understood by the readers of the ad.

p.s. I'm glad I'm not a furry animal. Euw (but interesting!)

Another animal-vitamin tidbit: Dogs and cats, unlike people, can synthesize their own Vitamin C. I have no idea why this is so but would love to know.