Advertising Don'ts from 1906

How do you "get the ear of the man you want to reach"?

Why, you shoot it off, of course. You can see the little ear bits flying off there in a spray of gore.








Presumably the shooter picks them up. There you go. You got the ear.

But probably not an eager attendee of your auction sale.


A hair product that sounds like a snake poison is not exactly appealing.

"Madame Theka" complains about dandruff, and her carnivalesque moniker does suggest flakiness.







On the manly side of hair potions, Rexall's "93" is the tonic for you if you wish to grow a third eye of wisdom.

Dusty D remembers reading about this tonic in her beloved book Nostrums and Quackery, published by the infant AMA, back in the day. They tested it, and found it to be worthless.








Nothing suggests hair regeneration more than a miniature Scotsman and a Native American perched on one's shoulders.

The recipient of their attentive massage looks perfectly sanguine about the situation. Even a bit dreamy.

This is another ad for ol' "93." Gives you the Third Eye of Wisdom, makes you dreamy-eyed, and then small ethnic stereotypes appear out of the woodwork and become your friends.

What's in that stuff, anyways?

You are what you wear. Would the recipient of a present of this lovely dog-fur coat develop an uncontrollable urge to heel, beg, pee outdoors, and roll over?

Hmmm....

"Get your plumbing from us, and your house, 'underneath the surface,' will be like an ocean."

As opposed to a nice dry basement. Slightly unfortunate image choice here. Though the li'l crab is cute. Not that you'd want crabs in your basement either.

And that's tonight's roundup of dubious 1906 advertisements!