One Reason I Like the Past is Because It Did Not Contain Thomas Kinkade

1. The 1930 Michigan Census included a special check-box to indicate if a resident in question owned a radio. Ownership of a radio was seen as an indicator of wealth and modernity, and was carefully noted by the census-takers.

2. Did you catch last Sunday's New York Times article about the proliferation of self-storage in this country? "The Self Storage Association notes that, with more than seven square feet for every man, woman and child, it’s now 'physically possible that every American could stand — all at the same time — under the total canopy of self-storage roofing.'” The article also mentioned that on average, the typical American buys an article of clothing every 5 days.

3. Ypsilanti teen diarist Allie McCullough recently described buying one new dress for the upcoming school year, and sewing on another.

4. Train tracks do not run in circles within gigantic pine trees; they run on the ground. The ridiculous mashup of several sentimental ole-timey idioms in this item, while ignoring such realities as infant mortality, hunger, and tuberculosis, from the latter of which Allie McCullough died, is distasteful because it is dishonest.

5. Anyone impelled to purchase this hideous item needs to work harder on creating their own authentic holiday traditions, in lieu of buying a landfill-destined piece of tasteless electricity-wasting junk.

6. Dusty D's spleen is now fully and comfortably vented, thank you.

(Image taken from the pages of the "America Profile" magazine insert in this week's papers.)